WordPerfect Customer Support

[Fieldgenerator]

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee(now I know why they record these conversations!):
> >>
> >> E= Employee
> >> C= Customer
> >>
> >> E: "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
> >> C: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> >>
> >> E: "What sort of trouble?"
> >> C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
> >> words went away."
> >>
> >> E: "Went away?"
> >> C: "They disappeared."
> >>
> >> E: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> >> C: "Nothing."
> >>
> >> E: "Nothing?"
> >> C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> >>
> >> E: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
> >> C: "How do I tell?"
> >>
> >> E: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
> >> C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> >>
> >> E: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
> >> screen?"
> >> C: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
> >> anything I type
> >> E: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
> >> C: "What's a monitor?"
> >>
> >> E: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
> >> TV.Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
> >> C: "I don't know."
> >>
> >> E: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
> >> the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
> >> C: "Yes, I think so."
> >>
> >> E: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
> >> it's plugged into the wall."
> >> C: "Yes, it is."
> >>
> >> E: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
> >> there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just > >> one?"
> >> C: "No."
> >>
> >> E: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
> >> find the other cable."
> >> C: "Okay, here it is."
> >>
> >> E: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
> >> into the back of your computer."
> >> C: "I can't reach."
> >>
> >> E: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
> >> C: "No."
> >>
> >> E: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
> >> way over?"
> >> C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -it's
> >> because it's dark."
> >>
> >> E: "Dark?"
> >> C: "Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is
> >> coming in from the window."
> >>
> >> E: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> >> C: "I can't."
> >>
> >> E: "No? Why not?"
> >> C: "Because there's a power failure."
> >>
> >> E: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
> >> now.Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
> >> stuff your computer came in?"
> >> C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> >>
> >> E: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
> >> up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
> >> store you bought it from."
> >> C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
> >>
> >> E: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> >> C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
> >>
> >> E:"Tell them you're too ****ing stupid to own a computer."

[ct_]

ancient.

http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid

:wow: :rofl:

[weta]

Fieldgenerator: This is a very old story, but the sad thing is that it's not an isolated case.

[SearanoX]

Heard about this awhile ago, but it still applies to computers today.

It's funny because it's true...

[minibubba]

ya, it's been around a few times (wordperfect should be a hint), but it's still a good laugh :)

[Mr. C]

For those with a broadband connection, you might enjoy the comedy of Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie.

OK, 56k'ers might enjoy it too, but it would be a painful wait to see it.

The site is currently down???

But, I have high hopes so try browsing;

http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html

and scroll down to "Welcome to the Internet Helpdesk".

It's a riot!

QuickTime required

[minibubba]

But, I have high hopes so try browsing;

http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html

and scroll down to "Welcome to the Internet Helpdesk"

I wanna see it! :cry:

[Mr. C]

Either I have a major problem, or the site is undergoing difficulty and/or maintenance.

However, I come complete with a backup plan :)

http://www.ampcast.com/music/22488/artist.php

has some .mp3 format files you can download - just use the "save as" feature of your browser.

Not always as good as the vids, but the audio is funny in itself.

[Kheldar]

maybe the 15,000 users in a day that hit their little server didn't help

:devil:

[Mr. C]

It appears to be operational now.

[SearanoX]

Funny, I had it working half an hour ago. Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie...I remember them from awhile ago for their new Windows flash movie.

Great stuff. I wasn't aware they were into stand-up comedy.

[Mr. C]

Really?
I thought all Canadians were born with that ability ;)

[dryadsoul]

Come'n Mr.C. just cause ya live that close to Canada doesn't
mean we're all Canukes:rofl: