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Olie
12-03-2001, 06:54 PM
Poopstars! -yes another Olie Creation

Week One - Auditions

Across Australia, thousands of budding young stars gather at auditions in the hope that they will be picked out for the chance to join a brand new pop group. The Poopstars panel, made up of smarmy Grim, sexy Susan and slightly-simple Dave are very impressed with the vast majority of the candidates. Synthetic's rendition of Agadoo in particular goes down a real treat.

Ws is also on impressive form, whipping out her enormous bongos and treating the judges to a blast of Ooh aah just a little bit by Gina G.

However one young hopeful sadly falls at the first hurdle. Mr Tweak's belting recital of Meatloaf's I would do anything for love (But I won't do that) results in the tragic death of 17 contestants. He is subsequently dismissed from the competition and flees in tears.

Week Two - Second Round of Auditions

The hundreds of remaining candidates are invited to Skegness for further auditions in an attempt to whittle the numbers down to just 50. Straight away KAy sets out her stall to impress the judges with a song and dance routine based upon the former Christmas Number One hit, Mr Blobby.

Everybody is delighted with the Mr Blobby rendition and, despite the fact that she's a fat biffer, KAy makes it through to the next round of auditions. Alex also progresses thanks to her amazing skills on the pink oboe.

Oynx, unfortunately, isn't so lucky. The judges make the shock discovery that she doesn't actually fall into the correct age group for the competition. As soon as they realise that Oynx is in fact a 73 year-old grandfather from Woking, they send her straight back to her retirement home. 'Perhaps we should have guessed from the zimmer frame', sighs judge Dave ruefully.

Week Three - Third Round

Camp club singer Osiris is the first hopeful to make a tit of himself after being invited to the third round of auditions in Ramsbottom. He attempts a flamboyant pirouette as the other contestants whistle Crazy for you by Let Loose. As he spins, he whacks Alex in the face, sparking off a full-scale brawl between the two of them.

Less than impressed with this display of team harmony, the panel order both Osiris and Alex to leave.

Judge Grim gives the remaining contestants a real scare when he calls them into a room and tells them he's got some bad news. 'I'm afraid you're all going to have to phone your parents and tell them you're coming down to London for the final stage of auditions', he says, to the relief of everyone. What a joker.

Week Four - Sydney Auditions

The judges have now got 20 contestants left, and they need to get the number down to just ten. They split all of the hopefuls into groups and put them through a gruelling routine of poncing about and singing.

Bloater KAy is a natural at this, but as she throws herself about like a randy hippo, the judges gather in a corner to whisper about her.

'KAy's certainly got a big, erm, personality' says Susan tactfully. 'But there just isn't enough room in the band for her. She'll have to go.' Fortunately KAy, with her well-rounded perspective on life, takes the news on the chins.

Synthetic is another candidate who has problems. He's been suffering from a severe bout of flatulence and Wiggo convinces him that drinking 12 pints of Diamond White the night before the final audition will provide a cure.

Funnily enough, when Synthetic wakes up, his flatulence is no better and his head hurts. Wiggo chuckles to himself, convinced that Synthetic will fail the audition and give Wiggo his path into the final 10 contestants.

However Wiggo's plan quite literally backfires when Grim informs the remaining hopefuls that today's audition involves farting New York, New York in the style of a barbershop quartet. Synthetic is the star of the show, while Wiggo barely raises a squeak. Perhaps surprisingly for a girl, Ws also blows the judges away with her methane skills.

Week Five - Final Decision

Only Synthetic and Ws remain in the final ten Poopstar contestants. The judges test out their communication skills by staging a mock press-conference.

However under heavy interrogation, Ws reveals that she used to be a drug-smuggling prostitute, although she only does it at weekends now. It's fair to say that Dave, Susan and Grim are not happy.

Synthetic fares a lot better, telling the hacks how much he admires Steps and how he's always wanted to be Kylie Minogue.

After the press conference, the judges sit down in a secret location to discuss their choice for the final band line-up. They spend literally minutes weighing up the pros and cons of each contestant before sitting back smugly and declaring 'Well darlings, we've got ourselves a band!'

The final decision

All that remains is for the candidates to be informed of the result. It is a decision which will undoubtedly change their lives for ever, and Synthetic and Ws are understandably nervous as they wait for the judges to visit them at home.

Grim struggles to reach Synthetic's remote home and after 3 weeks of travelling across frozen wasteland on a husky-driven sled he still hasn't reached the destination.

Susan, meanwhile, has popped round the corner for a cup of tea with Ws and her boyfriend Dick. Over the cuppa, Susan breaks the bad news that Ws will not be chosen for the final band. 'Look at it this way...' Susan says comfortingly. 'You've always got your job at McDonalds'.

Eventually, despite the loss of three toes, Grim reaches Synthetic's igloo. He sits Synthetic down and tells him to take a deep breath. 'It's been the hardest decision I've ever had to make', Grim begins.

'But I'm afraid you haven't made it. In fact, none of you have. We're not even bothering with the band - we only did it for the TV ratings. There is a follow-up series next year you might be interested in taking part in though...'

'Yes?', enquires Synthetic, his eyes lighting up.

'Yes', says Grim. 'It's called 'How Poopstars Ruined My Life'. See you next year then...?'

Wiggo's-sister
12-03-2001, 07:20 PM
How come I never win :cry:

Anonymous
12-03-2001, 07:23 PM
Yes and I was kicked out in the first week!!!! :cry:

Wiggo's-sister
12-03-2001, 07:28 PM
Think yourself lucky Mr T, I got kicked out on the first night in BB

Olie
12-03-2001, 07:39 PM
lol

sorry tweak

Slamo
12-03-2001, 07:54 PM
You have too much time on your hands Olie

Olie
12-03-2001, 07:57 PM
:p
it didn't trake too long slamo

Anonymous
12-03-2001, 08:00 PM
:p
it didn't trake too long slamo

LOL, sneaky Olie... :D

Olie
12-03-2001, 08:02 PM
what was sneaky about that tweak?

Grim Reaper
12-03-2001, 08:04 PM
ROFL! so really, all up...I WIN!! :D :D :D :laugh: :wave: :clap:

Olie
12-03-2001, 08:05 PM
yes you win poopstars

MySTiCuSS
12-03-2001, 11:35 PM
Yeah he wins!

Olie
12-04-2001, 07:17 AM
i have a feeling that mysticuss may win the next one

The Wizard
12-04-2001, 09:26 AM
i wasnt even entered, how bout them apples?? :cry:

Wiggo
12-04-2001, 11:04 AM
I think that Olie is showin' signs of needin' professional help. :laugh: :cackle: :laugh: :cackle: :laugh:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Olie
12-04-2001, 11:07 AM
i was rejected by the professionals :D

Wiggo
12-04-2001, 12:06 PM
lol. I wonder why but if I was you I'd be more worried about the missus when she finally sees these threads though. :D
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Olie
12-04-2001, 12:29 PM
pft

i can handle it :D

Wiggo's-sister
12-04-2001, 06:03 PM
You don't have to live with Kay now do ya Olie??

Olie
12-04-2001, 06:06 PM
luckily i live across the othe half of the nation.

Wiggo's-sister
12-04-2001, 06:10 PM
I think ya could be right there Olie :geek:

Olie
12-04-2001, 06:13 PM
by the sounds of tings I am right

Wiggo's-sister
12-04-2001, 06:20 PM
you might be lucky, Kay may, I say may just laugh it off :rolleyes:

Olie
12-04-2001, 06:21 PM
My sis ain't too hapy about being the lesbian

Wiggo
12-04-2001, 06:26 PM
Olie[/size]]
My sis ain't too hapy about being the lesbian
Now I wonder why she would be? :?:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Olie
12-04-2001, 06:28 PM
i dunno?

i know if i were a girl i woud like to be one

Wiggo's-sister
12-04-2001, 06:56 PM
Olie!!! but your saying that from a males point of view, not a females side of it????:crazy:

Olie
12-04-2001, 06:59 PM
yes i guess our point of view is a bit biast

Grim Reaper
12-04-2001, 09:11 PM
LOL!!! i think its every males dream!! :D *goes away dreamin* ;)

Kay
12-04-2001, 09:51 PM
OK OLIE I WAS VERY AMUSED AT BEING A LESBIAN.................BUT FAT!!!!!!!!!! YOU MAY NEVER BE FORGIVEN FOR THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :angryfire bY THE WAY, i WILL BE DOWN THAT WAY IN A COUPLE OF WEEKS AND SHALL DROP IN AND "TALK" TO YOU IN PERSON ABOUT BEING FAT

Wiggo
12-04-2001, 10:02 PM
Now don't say that I didn't try and warn ya Olie. ;) :laugh:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Mr. C
12-05-2001, 03:30 AM
Oh oh!

It appears the excrement has entered the rotary air circulation device.

Kay
12-05-2001, 09:13 AM
Not to mention the ****e hitting the fan :cackle:

Mr. C
12-05-2001, 09:30 AM
Gee! Wish I had said that.

Wiggo
12-05-2001, 10:59 AM
But ya certainly thought it though, didn't ya? :D
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Olie
12-05-2001, 11:22 AM
ok one thing Kay. this story was computer generated. you enter the names and it randomly puts them into a story. the only way to decide who is who, is to leave it blank and enter the names afterward. I am sorry if it has offended you, it was not intendeed to be that way :(

you can check it out yourself at www.dc8p.com under the "games" section

Kay
12-05-2001, 11:23 AM
Thats OK Olie, I forgive you.............this time lol :angel:

Olie
12-05-2001, 11:27 AM
I thank you for your forgivingness master
/me gets on knees and worships thee

Wiggo
12-05-2001, 02:56 PM
And don't forget that I did warn ya. ;)
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Olie
12-05-2001, 04:57 PM
You only to ld me after i posted it

Wiggo
12-05-2001, 05:15 PM
Now would I do a thing so despicable as that? :devil:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Wiggo's-sister
12-05-2001, 09:23 PM
Just a thought happening here :?:
Who's cleaning up the mess???
ya know that stuff splatters when it hits the fan :(

Dlab
12-06-2001, 03:09 AM
IT'S A BIG ONE, AND OLIE REALLY TRACKED IT ARROUND AFTER STICKY HIS FOOT IN IT.....

heheh.........and he's lucky WM is true to her Av..........

Come think of it W lucky, too..........But opposites attract=

:angel: +:devil: =:D (happyness).

I was worried there for a minute and thought we'd need a "service and Repair Thread for Olie....." But insread I think we need a collection for a copy of Men are From M.....:D

Kay
12-06-2001, 05:13 AM
I thank you for your forgivingness master
/me gets on knees and worships thee Thats nice Olie...........all women liked to be worshipped :D

Olie
12-06-2001, 11:12 AM
/me gets an idea


thanks kay ;)

Wiggo
12-06-2001, 12:40 PM
Oh what's he up to now. :eek:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Synthetic
12-06-2001, 01:01 PM
I want to be Kylie Minogue???? WTF??!?!?!?:confused:

Mr. C
12-06-2001, 01:46 PM
Thats nice Olie...........all women liked to be worshipped :D

Every one I ever met seemed to agree:p

Wiggo's-sister
12-06-2001, 05:24 PM
:?: worship, hmmm......... now that gives me an idea.
Will have to remind the old boy about that part of our agreement

Wiggo
12-06-2001, 05:28 PM
Oh poor Chook's in for it again. :(
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Wiggo's-sister
12-06-2001, 05:31 PM
About time I give him some of his own back!!! dont ya reckon :cackle:

Wiggo
12-06-2001, 05:43 PM
What do ya mean? :eek:
He's always gettin' the short end of the stick. :(
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Wiggo's-sister
12-06-2001, 05:46 PM
:?: Now lets think about that comment bro???
Some how I dont think so :D

Wiggo
12-06-2001, 05:53 PM
Dirty minded person ya are. :devil:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Dlab
12-07-2001, 12:41 AM
:D what happened to O? :?: hope he's not about to stick his other foot in it......? We may want to put some thought in to that "Service and Repair Thead." Known O it'll be :laugh: .
:beer:

Kay
12-07-2001, 05:31 AM
:D what happened to O? :?: hope he's not about to stick his other foot in it......? We may want to put some thought in to that "Service and Repair Thead." Known O it'll be :laugh: .
:beer: Olies ok, he worships me, so i wont do anything nasty now :D

Synthetic
12-07-2001, 09:05 AM
you know what that means Olie...the moment u stop worshippin Kay....u're Phucked!:eek: :eek: she's got u by the short N' Curlies now boy:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Kay
12-07-2001, 10:13 AM
Sacrificing a virgin once a week should be enough worship I think :angel:

Wiggo's-sister
12-07-2001, 12:01 PM
:eek: holly cow, girl!!!!
what's happening to ya?????? :confused:

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 12:30 PM
Gee it must be the thought of the new PC for her goin' to her head. :eek:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Albinus
12-07-2001, 01:00 PM
Gee it must be the thought of the new PC for her goin' to her head. :eek:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>


Well hurry up and build it for her then :D

Wiggo's-sister
12-07-2001, 02:54 PM
Excitement in the house :thumb:

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 07:15 PM
Should be finished by Sunday as a couple of small parts aare needed from Nth.Rocks PC Markets. ;)
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Beefy
12-07-2001, 07:22 PM
excuses, excuses... you should of had those parts.. yesterday! :D

Wiggo's-sister
12-07-2001, 07:39 PM
More like last week ;)

Beefy
12-07-2001, 07:41 PM
last year even... :D

Wiggo's-sister
12-07-2001, 07:50 PM
even earlier than that :crazy:

Beefy
12-07-2001, 07:51 PM
yeah.. enough of that...

Wiggo's-sister
12-07-2001, 07:55 PM
never enough of that :p

Beefy
12-07-2001, 07:57 PM
fine.. keep going.. see if I care.

Wiggo's-sister
12-07-2001, 08:09 PM
you will babe, you will!!! :argue:

Beefy
12-07-2001, 08:11 PM
i will, will i? :mad:

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 08:13 PM
Well I did have those couple of little parts but they went into No.1 son's 1.2g Athy instead and the Markets are only open on Sundays. ;)
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Beefy
12-07-2001, 08:15 PM
you had to go and interupt, didn't you? :D

Wiggo's-sister
12-07-2001, 08:15 PM
any excuse is better than now at all, hey bro??? ;)

Beefy
12-07-2001, 08:19 PM
does that mean taht no1 son is more important than wife? :D

Wiggo's-sister
12-07-2001, 08:28 PM
more type o's Beefy???
thought I was doing badly :cackle:

Beefy
12-07-2001, 08:31 PM
shuddap.. i can do all the ytpos I want.. i'll plead temporary stupidity.. more commonly known as olieus stupiditius :D

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 09:10 PM
Gee and I thought it was called
pppppppppiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss ssssseeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddd myself? :D
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Beefy
12-07-2001, 09:16 PM
sorry.. i forgot you can recognise that all-so-familiar state.. ;)

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 09:19 PM
Happens on very rare occasions though as it takes too much to get that way. :(
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Beefy
12-07-2001, 09:31 PM
i'm usually the same, but tonight i had a few quiet ones and they really hit me... but i';ve got the flu,a nd i've hardlyu eaten all day, so it's going straight to my head.

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 09:32 PM
What is? The flu? :?:
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Beefy
12-07-2001, 09:40 PM
everything.. the grog, the flu.. the little bits of fluff ya find in ya belly button... everything.

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 09:42 PM
Or maybe fluff on the carpet even? :D
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Beefy
12-07-2001, 09:53 PM
that sticks to the head after passing out on the carpet for a while.

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 10:11 PM
I'll have to take ya word for that as I've no experience with it. :D
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Beefy
12-07-2001, 10:13 PM
when u shave your head, the stubble acts like velcro sometimes.. everything sticks to it.. had a cat stuck there for a few hours once... wasn't much fun, let me tell you...

oh, hi albinus.. :wave:

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 10:25 PM
Can't say I know that one either as I have a ponytail. ;)
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

Beefy
12-07-2001, 10:28 PM
ever had a cat play with it perhaps? :D

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 10:34 PM
No as the cat would know better than to come near me. ;)
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>s

Beefy
12-07-2001, 10:42 PM
hehehe.. i forgot about that... :D

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 10:51 PM
I thought ya might have. ;)
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

MySTiCuSS
12-07-2001, 11:06 PM
WOW wiggo how the hell do you got so much posts?

Wiggo
12-07-2001, 11:33 PM
Ah.... well...... maybe ya should check the babe section out and see. ;)
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>

MySTiCuSS
12-07-2001, 11:50 PM
HEHE nice babes indeed!

Kay
12-08-2001, 09:06 AM
Damn the babes a nice hunky guy showing his well muscled trim taut and terrific bu..............legs would be better ;)

Mr. C
12-08-2001, 10:18 AM
There was some mention of you gals requiring a dreamy eyes of the week page in the BOTW thread.

Wiggo's-sister
12-08-2001, 10:27 AM
Not to mention the six pack, Kay!!!! :eek:

Synthetic
12-08-2001, 11:53 AM
Damn the babes a nice hunky guy showing his well muscled trim taut and terrific bu..............legs would be better ;)
:eek: :drunk:
ahh..spose i might be able to post a couple pics of myself...:rolleyes:

Kay
12-08-2001, 03:59 PM
:eek: :drunk:
ahh..spose i might be able to post a couple pics of myself...:rolleyes: Looking over your shoulder is required, and must pass the inspectors :angel:

Wiggo
12-08-2001, 06:20 PM
Nah use a mirror. ;)
<center>http://members.optushome.com.au/wiggo100/beerchug.gif</center>