View Full Version : Tt Bb3

12-06-2001, 01:17 PM
Big Brother!

Day 1 - MySticcus admits straight away that he doesn't like the look of big boobs. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, pheel mc' crac is in fact the only lesbian in the house, although Synthetic later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality.

2 - The house sit down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. Smurphish creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. BIMBO hits him with a fork.

3 - The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother - they must make a model of twin towers out of 13" ****s. After much persuasion by Smurphish, they gamble 50% of next week's food budget on completing the task.

4 - Training for the twin towers task is well under way. However havoc ensues when Synthetic, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat ******* in the house, eats half the 13" ****s. BIMBO is furious.

5 - Today is the day when the twin towers task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Synthetic farts and blows twin towers over. Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. big boobs cries.

6 - Smurphish gets pecked on the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.

7 - Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider, big boobs admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a fork. MySticcus says he never wears condoms because they make his modem sore and Smurphish agrees. pheel mc' crac goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they're all boring heterosexual *******s. Synthetic sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Smurphish.

8 - Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. MySticcus goes round everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because they're the only one in the house that he can really relate to. BIMBO and big boobs are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for MySticcus.

9 - BIMBO and big boobs are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. pheel mc' crac sings them a song - hazy shade of winter - to make them feel better.

10 - The public vote big boobs out of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. big boobs leaves.

11 - Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with big boobs's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last week's failed task. pheel mc' crac has to make do without the cucumber she requested. BIMBO is visibly depressed and is comforted by Smurphish, who tries to touch her on her nose.

12 - The Big Brother pyschologist replays the footage of Smurphish touching BIMBO's nose over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running machine for twice the circumferance of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it.

13 - The running machine task is on target, despite the fact that Synthetic refuses to run because his modem hurts a bit.

14 - Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Synthetic finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him they'd never have done it. BIMBO calls Synthetic a lazy modem.

15 - Once again it is the day when nominations are due. MySticcus tells everyone individually that he thinks BIMBO is a *****. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. BIMBO and Smurphish are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for MySticcus.

16 - The nominations are announced. BIMBO can't believe she's been voted out two weeks in a row. Smurphish is equally stunned and turns to BIMBO for comfort. Synthetic is distraught and confesses to pheel mc' crac that he thinks he is in love with Smurphish. pheel mc' crac says she doesn't fancy any of the housemates because they're all just too heterosexual and she's a lesbian, you know

17 - The public vote Smurphish out of the house. BIMBO says she is gutted and even gives Smurphish a clipping of hair from her nose to prove how much she cares. Synthetic is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. Smurphish leaves.

18 - The Big Brother psychologist shows repeated clips of BIMBO clipping the hair from her nose. Apparently this is an important psychological incident. The public obviously agree as viewing figures soar.

19 - Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the National Anthem of afganhastan in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.

20 - Nobody has a clue what the National Anthem of afganhastan sounds like but Synthetic says it's a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose MySticcus as the one who must complete the task.

21 - MySticcus successfully burps not only the National Anthem of afganhastan but also God Save The Queen, hazy shade of winter and the theme tune to Playboy Greatest Moments. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him.

22 - Nominations are due and MySticcus tells everyone that he has a Villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Synthetic and pheel mc' crac are nominated.

23 - Synthetic and pheel mc' crac take their nominations well and sit down with MySticcus and BIMBO to discuss why they voted for them. MySticcus keeps quiet but BIMBO accuses Synthetic of being an arrogant, lazy, self-centred modem before bursting into tears.

24 - The public vote pheel mc' crac out of the house and nobody really gives a ****. pheel mc' crac leaves.

25 - MySticcus becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother pschologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of MySticcus's mind and brings out his true personality. In other words, he's a wanker.

26 - Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tons of mouse dung using only a fork. MySticcus is unsure but Synthetic is confident, claiming to have done something very similar when he was younger. They gamble 50% of the food budget.

27 - Completely out of the blue, Synthetic breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung-shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the mouse incident from his childhood. BIMBO tries to persuade him to stay but MySticcus sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly. Synthetic decides to leave.

28 - With only two housemates remaining, the mouse dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by BIMBO from a couple of mouldy carrots she found in the Big Brother garden.

29 - Nominations are due for the final time. MySticcus asks BIMBO to marry him and she accepts. Unsurprisingly MySticcus nominates BIMBO to leave. Rather more surprisingly, so does BIMBO.

30 - When the nomination is announced, BIMBO graciously accepts defeat and proclaims that MySticcus is a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, she also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceded by a speech from the Queen. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. MySticcus takes his 70,000 and runs away to afganhastan. Nobody, including BIMBO, ever sees him again.

12-06-2001, 02:30 PM
Gee Olie ya could of have got in there and changed a few more things cause it's almost exactly the same as the last. How do ya ever expect to be an editor at this rate. :eek:

Mr. C
12-06-2001, 03:41 PM
Apparently that "generator" has run its course:p

Looks like it's time for a little hands-on BB editing :smokin:

12-06-2001, 04:40 PM
I most certainly think so if that's the best it can do. :cry:

12-06-2001, 05:52 PM
Olie, it was only funny the first time, that sucked :hmph:

12-06-2001, 05:57 PM
they are getting a bit sad.

12-06-2001, 06:25 PM
no girls sent in a email

Mr. C
12-07-2001, 12:13 AM
no girls sent in a email

this is surprising to you?:p

12-07-2001, 12:23 AM
no girls sent in a email

think about it........

12-07-2001, 05:23 AM
I was willing to give it a try but the email musn't have worked, but I am sorry Olie, glad it didn't this time, as it was the same old samo. :cry: