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Thread: Some cute poems




  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,636

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    Twas the night before Y2K,
    And all through the nation
    We awaited The Bug,
    The Millennium sensation.

    The chips were replaced
    In computers with care,
    In hopes that ol' Bugsy
    Wouldn't stop there.

    While some folks could think
    They were snug in their beds
    Others had visions
    Of dread in their heads.

    And Ma with her PC,
    And I with my Mac
    Had just logged on the Net
    And kicked back with a snack.

    When over the server,
    There arose such a clatter
    I called Mister Gates
    To see what was the matter.

    But he was away,
    So I flew like a flash
    Off to my bank
    To withdraw all my cash.

    When what with my wandering eyes
    Should I see?
    My good old Mac
    Looked quite sick to me.

    The hack of all hackers
    Was looking so smug,
    I knew that it must be
    The Y2K Bug!

    His image downloaded
    In no time at all,
    He whistled and shouted,
    Let all systems fall!

    Go Intel! Go Gateway!
    Now HP! Big Blue!
    Everything Compaq,
    And Pentium too!

    All processors big,
    All processors small,
    Crash away! Crash away!
    Crash away all!

    "All the controls
    That planes need for their flights
    All microwaves, trains
    And all traffic lights."

    As I drew in my breath
    And was turning around,
    Out through the modem,
    He came with a bound.

    He was covered with fur,
    And slung on his back
    Was a sackful of virus,
    Set for attack.

    His eyes - how they twinkled!
    His dimples - how merry!
    As midnight approached, though
    Things soon became scary.

    He had a broad little face
    And a round little belly,
    And his sack filled with virus
    Quivered like jelly.

    He was chubby and plump,
    Perpetually grinning,
    And I laughed when I saw him
    Though my hard drive stopped spinning.

    A wink of his eye,
    And a twist of his head,
    Soon gave me to know
    A new feeling of dread.

    He spoke not a word,
    But went straight to his work,
    He changed all the clocks,
    Then turned with a jerk.

    With a twitch of his nose,
    And a quick little wink,
    All things electronic
    Soon went on the blink.

    He zoomed from my system,
    To the next folks online,
    He caused such a disruption,
    Could this be a sign?

    Then I heard him exclaim,
    With a loud, hearty shout,
    A Happy New Year to all
    As your computers die out

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Posts
    1,636

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    A computer was something you saw on TV
    In a science-fiction show of note,
    WINDOWS were something you hated to clean
    And RAM was the cousin of a goat.
    MEG was the name of my girlfriend
    And GIG was a job for the nights,
    Now these terms all mean different things,
    And that really MEGA-BYTES!

    An APPLICATION was for employment
    A PROGRAM, a TV show.
    A CURSOR got his mouth washed out with soap,
    A KEYBOARD was on a piano.
    FILES, you used on your fingernails,
    CHIPS, you ate from a bag,
    And those big plastic sacks that went out with the trash
    Were the only things you'd "DROP AND DRAG."

    BROWSERS were shoppers in department store aisles,
    SPREADSHEETS, you put on your bed,
    And a YAHOO, I'm sorry to say, was a guy
    With very few SMARTS in his head.
    MEMORY was something you lost with age,
    A CD was a bank account,
    And if you had a 3-INCH FLOPPY,
    You sure hoped nobody found out!

    BIOS were stories of famous folks' lives,
    BINS... we used them to store grain,
    A CAB was a taxi that took you uptown,
    And a LANDING ZONE was for a plane.
    COMPRESS was something you did to the garbage,
    Not something you did to a file,
    And if you UNZIPPED anything in public
    You could end up in jail for a while.

    LOG ON was adding more wood to the fire,
    HARD DRIVE, a long trip on the road,
    A MOUSE PAD was where little rodents lived
    And a BACKUP would foul your commode.
    GOOGLE was a guy with big funny eyes,
    JUNO, a goddess of Rome,
    And ONLINE was where you waited to board
    The BUS that you'd ride to go home.

    A CHAT ROOM was usually my front porch,
    LINKS were what made up a chain,
    And the only SEARCH ENGINE that I ever saw
    Was at the front end of a train!
    WAV's were found at the seashore,
    JPEG's came with a tent,
    The RECYCLE BIN was for bottles and cans
    And CACHE was how we paid the rent.

    A MAINFRAME supported the roof of your house,
    COOKIES, you ate for dessert,
    A SERVER worked in a restaurant,
    And MUD was just wet, gooey dirt.
    A PORT was the place where ships would dock,
    MIME's, performers in shows,
    And HACKERS were people who chopped up trees
    Into LOGS that they stacked up in rows.

    CUT was a job for a pocket knife,
    PASTE-- you did that with glue,
    A WEB was the home of a spider,
    And a VIRUS... well, that was the flu.
    DRIVERS all worked for the bus line,
    A BAT was used to play ball,
    And WALLPAPER... oh yeah, that was the stuff
    That you actually glued to the wall!

    HI MEM, I thought, was a greeting...
    STARTUP, I did to my car,
    And a MENU would help me decide what to order
    When I went to my neighborhood bar.
    FAT was something you exercised off,
    PARTITIONS were walls in a room,
    SPAM was found only in sandwiches,
    And CLEANUP was done with a broom.

    A TEMP was a part-time employee,
    MIDI, a skirt girls would wear,
    And "ALWAYS ON TOP"... well, that's hard to explain,
    (Better yet, let's not even go there!)
    I still use my pen and my paper
    And the memory stored in my head,
    I hear no one's been killed in a computer crash
    But when it happens, they wish they WERE dead!

    (But seriously, folks..........!)

    Hey, I'm not knocking computers!
    So please, don't call me a fool!
    I own a PC, which I use every day,
    It's my favorite time-saving tool.
    But one thing you should always remember,
    Before you get hooked on SpellCheck...
    The greatest computer that ever was made
    Is still the one that's attached to your NECK!!!

  3. #3
    Beefy Guest

    Default

    <font size="+1">Dr. Seuss Comes to Your Computer</font>

    Bits. Bytes. Chips. Clocks.
    Bits in bytes on chips in box.
    Bytes with bits and chips with clocks.
    Chips in box on ether-docks.

    Chips with bits come. Chips with bytes come.
    Chips with bits and bytes and clocks come

    Look, sir. Look, sir. Read the book, sir.
    Let's do tricks with bits and bytes sir.
    Let's do tricks with chips and clocks, sir.

    First, I'll make a quick trick bit stack.
    Then I'll make a quick trick byte stack.
    You can make a quick trick chip stack.
    You can make a quick trick clock stack.

    And here's a new trick on the scene.
    Bits in bytes for your machine.
    Bytes in words to fill your screen.

    Now we come to ticks and tocks, sir.
    Try to say this by the clock, sir.

    Clocks on chips tick.
    Clocks on chips tock.
    Eight byte bits tick.
    Eight bit bytes tock.
    Clocks on chips with eight bit bytes tick.
    Chips with clocks and eight byte bits tock.

    Here's an easy game to play.
    Here's an easy thing to say:

    If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,
    And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,
    And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,
    Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

    If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,
    And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash,
    And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash,
    then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

    You can't say this?
    What a shame sir!
    We'll find you
    Another game sir.

    If the label on the cable on the table at your house,
    Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,
    But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol,
    That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

    And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,
    So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,
    Then you may as well reboot and take them all out with a bang,
    'Cause as sure as bytes have nibbles, your computer's gonna hang!

    When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,
    And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc,
    Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
    Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom!

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