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Thread: Jokes.




  1. #1311
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    After bringin' the likes of no less than 25 new Bairns into

    this miserable life, as it were, Mary Margaret Fitzpatrick,

    passed on after a misshandeled Hystorrectomy.

    Gawd bless & rest her sweet ancient soul, as he be

    cursing the drunken sot o' a doctor to a life of sobriety

    as well; but, then it was, that she found herself in

    a most peculiar of positions.....facing St. Peter himself,

    at no less a place then the Pearly fuc*in' Gates o'

    the Lord's domain................. well, i can tell ya, she

    let out a wail o' relief that would o' raised the Titanic

    itself as she broke for the stairs........only to be greeted

    by a screechin' beyond that of the Banshe in famine....

    turnin' to the light she was was informed by himself that

    it was not but a wee cry o' delight by the one having

    thier shoulders drilled for the fitting of the Wings.....

    Jesus,Fochin' Joseph, and Mary..........I'm off to the likes Hell

    after that bit o' welcome........as Peter was assuring Mary

    Margaret all was aright..........the rucous of Armaghedan

    seemed to suredly be at hand.......with a mere chuckle

    of glee, himself said, in his most comforting tone.......

    nought but the likes a custom fit Hallo, don't ya know....

    and with that bit o' knowledge, she broke into a run

    while shouting out backwards ..........it's off to Hell

    for some true comfort & Whiskey i am........NO,NO, Not

    that,if ya please, for it's only Rape & Sodomy you'll

    be gettin' there.....................Just ****in' fine by me,

    say's she, fore thats two holes i'll already be having

    and the Virgin Mary they're nought!!!!!!!!!!!


    And than there were nun........:eek: .....:confused:
    Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you recall.

  2. #1312
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    Cinderella was now 75 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now departed Prince, she happily sat in her rocking chair watching the world go by with her cat Alan. One afternoon, out of nowhere, appeared her Fairy Godmother.

    Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years?"

    The Fairy Godmother replied, "Well Cinderella, since you have lived good wholesome life since we last met, I have decided to grant you three wishes. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

    Cinderella was overjoyed. "I wish I was extremely wealthy", she said. Instantly, her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Alan, her cat, jumped off her lap and ran to the edge of the porch quivering with fear.

    "Oh thank you Fairy Godmother," said Cinderella. "Is there anything else you might wish for?" asked the Fairy Godmother.

    Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I was young and full of the beauty I once had." At once, her wish was granted.

    Cinderella felt feeling inside her that she had not felt for years.

    The Fairy Godmother said, "you have one wish remaining, what shall you have?"

    Cinderella looked at her frightened cat in the corner and said, "I wish you to turn Alan, my old cat, into a handsome young man."

    Magically, Alan suddenly underwent a change and then before them stood young man with the looks and body that no other man could match.

    The Fairy Godmother again spoke "Congratulations Cinderella. Enjoy your new life," and with that she was gone.

    For a few eerie moments, Cinderella and Alan looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat breathless, gazing at the most stunning, perfect man she had ever seen.

    Alan walked over to Cinderella and held her close in his muscular arms. He leant in close to her ear and whispered in a warm breath,

    "Bet you regret having my balls chopped off now, don't you?"
    <center>:cheers:</center>

  3. #1313
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    Apr 2002
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    "Little flee"

    lmao!

    freakin' hilirious...!

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

  4. #1314
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    The Oldest Remote...
    SPAM Special Ops

  5. #1315
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    WHAT DO THE HOLY BIBLE AND A BLACK WOMEN'S

    VAGINA HAVE COMMON??????





    THEY BOTH HAVE TO OPEN TO BE READ/RED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. #1316
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    Amen!


  7. #1317
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    Make fun of gay clubs, men who wear make-up
    Get aware, wake up, get a sense of humor...

    http://www.pals.ch/quoctri/flash_bsb.htm

    No ****...



    :cheers:

  8. #1318
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    A man is out at the golf course, waiting to tee off and
    there is a woman ahead of him.
    She loses the grip on her club as she swings it, and it
    hits the man.

    He doubles over in pain, clasping his hands in his crotch.
    The woman quickly runs over and says, "Oh, I'm so sorry.
    Here's let me help you."

    The woman opens the man's pants and begins to adjust his
    parts, fondling his nuts and stroking his rod.

    A few minutes later, the woman asks, "Is that any better?"
    The man says, "Oh yeah, that's great, but my thumb still
    hurts like hell!"
    New rig
    P4 Titan 8S655FX
    PENTIUM 4 Intel 2.8c
    KINGMAX 2x512 DDR
    GeForce4 MX440
    DVD: LITEON x 16
    CDRW:LITEON 52x32x52
    LG FLATRON F700B
    NEWMEN OPTICAL MOUSE

  9. #1319
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    11 people were clinging precariously to a wildly swinging rope
    suspended from a crumbling outcropping on Mount Everest.

    10 were blondes, one was a brunette. As a group they decided that one
    of the party must let go. If that didn't happen the rope would break
    and everyone would perish.

    For an agonizing few moments no one volunteered.
    Finally, the brunette gave a truly touching speech saying she would
    sacrifice herself to save the lives of the others.

    The blondes applauded.
    New rig
    P4 Titan 8S655FX
    PENTIUM 4 Intel 2.8c
    KINGMAX 2x512 DDR
    GeForce4 MX440
    DVD: LITEON x 16
    CDRW:LITEON 52x32x52
    LG FLATRON F700B
    NEWMEN OPTICAL MOUSE

  10. #1320
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    A redhead is hoppin' from one railroad track to the other
    and than back, all the time singing

    "Tewnty One, Twenty One"
    (visualize girl dancing&singing form side to side)

    When along comes a peroxide blonde, and say's

    "Wow,that looks like fun;can i join ya???"

    So,Red say's "Long as ya can keep up and follow my lead."

    "Think i can manage that okay." and she hopes on a rail.

    And so, their justa hoppin' & boppin' along "Tweny One....etc."

    Then comes the 5:05 Express from NY 2 LA screamin' into view.
    As Red hopes off and outa the way, but, not the blonde.

    As the 5:05 shoots past takin what's now left of the blonde with it;
    Red smiles brightly while hoppin' back on the tracks................

    Singin' ever so loudly "Twenty Two, Twenty Two".................
    Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you recall.

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