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Thread: Jokes.




  1. #251
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    Nov 2001
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    In the Beginning was The Plan

    And then came the Assumptions
    And the Assumptions were without form
    and the Plan was completely without substance and the darkness was upon the face of the workers and they spoke among themselves, saying "It is a crock of ****, and it stinketh to high heaven." And the workers went unto their Supervisors and sayeth, "It is a pail of dung and none may abide the odor thereof." And the Supervisors went unto their Managers and sayeth unto them, "It is a container of excrement and it is very strong, such that none may abide by it."
    And the Managers went unto their Directors and sayeth, "It is a vessel of fertilizer, and none may abide its strength." And the Directors spoke amongst themselves, saying one to another, "It contains that which aids plant growth, and it is very strong." And the directors went unto the Vice Presidents and sayeth unto them, "It promotes growth and is very powerful." And the Vice Presidents went unto the President and sayeth unto him, "This new plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of this Company, and these Areas in particular." And the President looked upon The Plan, And saw that it was good, and The Plan became Company Policy.

    This Is How **** Happens.

  2. #252
    Beefy Guest

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    Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him .... what?

    A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

    :D

  3. #253
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    Good one Beefy :D did Bert tell you that one ;)

  4. #254
    Beefy Guest

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    Bert?

  5. #255
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    Well it was Bert who learned the word to save his nose from being tweaked ;)

  6. #256
    Beefy Guest

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    was his name Bert? I'd forgotten.. :)

    that's right.. his father gave his nose a tweak, and told him he was bad... :D

  7. #257
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    Yes it was Bert the chimney sweep, when you have seen Mary Poppins as many times as I have, you could practically play all the parts off by heart :eek:

  8. #258
    Beefy Guest

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    i used to watch it as a kid.. but haven't seen it since I was like 8 or so.. :)

  9. #259
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    Well I had to watch it with my kids ;) been watching it forever now :cry:

  10. #260
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    Gardner goes to see his supervisor in the front office.

    "Boss," he says, "we're doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow,
    and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and
    hauling stuff."

    "We're short-handed, Gardner," the boss replies. "I can't give you
    the day off."

    "Thanks boss," says Gardner, "I knew I could count on you!"
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