Please report all spam threads, posts and suspicious members. We receive spam notifications and will take immediate action!
Page 1 of 157 1231151101 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 1561

Thread: Jokes.




  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    New England Highlands, Australia
    Posts
    21,907

    Default

    A Chinese man decides to move to Australia after 50 years of living in Shanghai. He buys a small piece of land near the outback. A few days after moving in, the friendly Aussie neighbour decides to go across and welcome the new guy to the region. So he goes next door, but on his way up the drive-way, he sees the Chinese man running around his front yard chasing about 10 hens. Not wanting to interrupt this "Chinese customs", he decides to put the welcome on hold for the day. The next day, he decides to try again, but just as he is about to knock on the front door, he looks through the window and sees the Chinese man urinate into a glass and then drink it. Not wanting to interrupt another "Chinese custom", he decides to put the welcome on hold for yet another day. A day later he decides to give it one last go, but on his way next door he sees the Chinese man leading a cow down the drive-way, pause,and then put his head next to the cow's bum. The Aussie bloke can't handle this, so he goes up to the Chinese man and says "What the hell is it with your Chinese customs? I come over to
    welcome you to the neighbourhood, and see you running around the yard after
    hens. The next day you are pissing in a glass,and drinking it, and then today,you have your head so close to that cow's bum,it could just about **** on you."
    The Chinese man is very taken back and says "Sorry Sir, you do not understand, these aren't Chinese customs I am performing, but Australian customs."
    "What do you mean mate" says the Aussie, "Those aren't Australian customs."
    "Yes they are", replied the Chinese man,
    "for you see, in order for me to become a true Australian,
    I must Chase Chicks, Drink Piss, and listen to bull-****.

    <center></center>

  2. #2

    Default

    ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!
    At the request of wiggo ;)

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    2,464

    Default

    lol, goodo wiggo :D

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    New England Highlands, Australia
    Posts
    21,907

    Default

    Just thought that I'd start it before the women did. ;)
    <center></center>

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Bendigo Australia
    Posts
    1,788

    Default

    hmmm - speaking of women our ratio in here is the best ever atm

  6. #6

    Default

    hehe, yeah where r the women?
    At the request of wiggo ;)

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Ballarat, VIC
    Posts
    1,011

    Default

    Alex is here, thats all we need

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    3,280

    Default

    lol

    alex is one strange gurl
    TT Original

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    New England Highlands, Australia
    Posts
    21,907

    Default

    That's ok guy's as the missus and sis are back in now. ;)
    <center></center>

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    New England Highlands, Australia
    Posts
    21,907

    Default

    Now back on topic. :D

    Why were proud to be Aussies.

    1) Only in Australia... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    2) Only in Australia... is "you awake" the standard concept of foreplay.

    3) Only in Australia... do Supermarkets make the sick people walk all the way to the back of the store to get their Panadol's etc while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    4) Only in Australia... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries...and a Diet Coke.

    5) Only in Australia... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counter.

    6) Only in Australia... do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway, and store our junk in the garage.
    7) Only in Australia... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    8) Only in Australia... do we use the word "politics" to describe the process of Government. "Poli" (poly)in Latin meaning "many" and, "tics" meaning "blood sucking creatures".

    9) Only in Australia... do we live by the saying "you're never too pissed if you can still find the floor".

    <center></center>

Page 1 of 157 1231151101 ... LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •