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Thread: Physics of sanata claus....




  1. #1
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    There are approximately two billion children (persons under 10 in the
    world. However, since Santa does not visit children of Muslim, Hindu,
    Jewish, or Buddhist (except maybe in Japan) religions, this reduces the
    workload for Christmas night to 15% of the total, or 378 million (according
    to the population reference bureau).

    At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that comes to 108
    million homes, presuming there is at least one good child in each.

    Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different
    time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming east to west (which seems
    logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per second.

    This is to say that for each Christian household with a good child, Santa
    has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out, jump down the
    chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the
    tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get back up the chimney,
    jump into the sleigh and get onto the next house.

    Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around
    the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the
    purposes of our calculations), we are talking about 0.78 miles per
    household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
    or breaks.

    This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second - 3,000 times
    the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man made
    vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a pokey 27.4 miles per second,
    and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

    The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that
    each child gets nothing more than a medium sized LEGO set (two pounds), the
    sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa himself. On
    land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even
    granting that flying reindeer can pull 10 times the normal amount, the job
    can't be done with eight or even nine of them -Santa would need 360,000 of
    them. This increases the payload, not counting the weight of the sleigh,
    another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the weight of the Queen
    Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

    A mass of nearly 600,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates
    enormous air resistance - this would heat up the reindeer in the same
    fashion as a spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of
    reindeer would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In
    short, they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the
    reindeer behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake. The
    entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second,
    or right about the time Santa reaches the fifth house on his trip.

    Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from
    a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
    acceleration forces of 17,000 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
    ludicrously slim considering all the high calorie snacks he must have
    consumed over the years) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by
    4,315,015 pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and
    reducing him to a quivering blob of pink goo. Therefore, if Santa did exist,
    he's dead now.

    MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!
    : party ha
    • Q: What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
    A: During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken.

  2. Default

    You're wrong, Santa has a Bag of Holding, which explains the presents mass. And he recently just killed a Gold Dragon, and got a +5 Sleigh of Speed, so between his Sleigh, and the fact that hes a lvl 37 mage, he can stop time for as long as it takes to deliver presents. And as for the snacks, the reindeer get hungry too :)
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  3. #3
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    YOUR BE TELLING ME NEXT THE GRAVITATIONAL CONSTANT IS DIFFERENT WHERE YOU LIVE.
    • Q: What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
    A: During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken.

  4. #4
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    Santa is alive and kicking; and you won't be getting any gifts this christmas.
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  5. #5
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    It's kinda hard to get Gravitaional when ya outweigh both Santa , Sleigh and Rein Deer as well as live in Pensylvania(it is next door to NY or was it Rhode Island?).......Please, FieldGen give the Damn Elves somethin' to look forward too:flames:
    Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you recall.

  6. #6
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    dwarf porn video...:)
    • Q: What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
    A: During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken.

  7. #7
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    Yo, FieldG, i can write the Lead, Rhythm,Bass and drums for that shorty if you got any pics to kick in:laugh:
    Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you recall.

  8. #8
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    Hasnt Ron Jermmy just released a "SPECIALS" CD with old cheesy
    smut classic tunes ?
    • Q: What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
    A: During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fieldgenerator
    YOUR BE TELLING ME NEXT THE GRAVITATIONAL CONSTANT IS DIFFERENT WHERE YOU LIVE.
    Actually it will be, the gravitational constant is only an average of the earths gravity. It can vary significantly in some areas but usually its pretty damn close to the average.

  10. #10
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    I'm talking about zero altitude smartarse.
    • Q: What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
    A: During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken.

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