Please report all spam threads, posts and suspicious members. We receive spam notifications and will take immediate action!
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13

Thread: WordPerfect Customer Support




  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Posts
    250

    Default

    Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee(now I know why they record these conversations!):
    > >>
    > >> E= Employee
    > >> C= Customer
    > >>
    > >> E: "Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
    > >> C: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    > >>
    > >> E: "What sort of trouble?"
    > >> C: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the
    > >> words went away."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Went away?"
    > >> C: "They disappeared."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    > >> C: "Nothing."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Nothing?"
    > >> C: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
    > >> C: "How do I tell?"
    > >>
    > >> E: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
    > >> C: "What's a sea-prompt?"
    > >>
    > >> E: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
    > >> screen?"
    > >> C: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept
    > >> anything I type
    > >> E: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
    > >> C: "What's a monitor?"
    > >>
    > >> E: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
    > >> TV.Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
    > >> C: "I don't know."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where
    > >> the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
    > >> C: "Yes, I think so."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
    > >> it's plugged into the wall."
    > >> C: "Yes, it is."
    > >>
    > >> E: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
    > >> there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just > >> one?"
    > >> C: "No."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and
    > >> find the other cable."
    > >> C: "Okay, here it is."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
    > >> into the back of your computer."
    > >> C: "I can't reach."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
    > >> C: "No."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
    > >> way over?"
    > >> C: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle -it's
    > >> because it's dark."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Dark?"
    > >> C: "Yes -the office light is off, and the only light I have is
    > >> coming in from the window."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    > >> C: "I can't."
    > >>
    > >> E: "No? Why not?"
    > >> C: "Because there's a power failure."
    > >>
    > >> E: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked
    > >> now.Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
    > >> stuff your computer came in?"
    > >> C: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    > >>
    > >> E: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
    > >> up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the
    > >> store you bought it from."
    > >> C: "Really? Is it that bad?"
    > >>
    > >> E: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    > >> C: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
    > >>
    > >> E:"Tell them you're too ****ing stupid to own a computer."
    • Q: What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
    A: During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    318

    Default

    ancient.


    http://www.rinkworks.com/stupid

    :wow: :rofl:
    <a href="http://www.harddrivehell.com">http://www.geocities.com/ctnow_da_ru/images/logod.gif</a>

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    1,661

    Default

    Fieldgenerator: This is a very old story, but the sad thing is that it's not an isolated case.

  4. #4

    Default

    Heard about this awhile ago, but it still applies to computers today.

    It's funny because it's true...
    This is where my signature would go had my host not been such a Bandwidth Nazi.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    4,246

    Default

    ya, it's been around a few times (wordperfect should be a hint), but it's still a good laugh :)
    I've gone too far and need to move on!

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    4,723

    Default

    For those with a broadband connection, you might enjoy the comedy of Three Dead Trolls in a Baggie.

    OK, 56k'ers might enjoy it too, but it would be a painful wait to see it.

    The site is currently down???

    But, I have high hopes so try browsing;
    http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html

    and scroll down to "Welcome to the Internet Helpdesk".

    It's a riot!

    QuickTime required
    The reason a diamond shines so brightly is because it has many facets which reflect light.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2002
    Posts
    4,246

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. C
    But, I have high hopes so try browsing;
    http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html

    and scroll down to "Welcome to the Internet Helpdesk"
    I wanna see it! :cry:
    I've gone too far and need to move on!

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    4,723

    Default

    Either I have a major problem, or the site is undergoing difficulty and/or maintenance.

    However, I come complete with a backup plan :)

    http://www.ampcast.com/music/22488/artist.php
    has some .mp3 format files you can download - just use the "save as" feature of your browser.

    Not always as good as the vids, but the audio is funny in itself.
    The reason a diamond shines so brightly is because it has many facets which reflect light.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Bendigo Australia
    Posts
    1,788

    Default

    maybe the 15,000 users in a day that hit their little server didn't help

    :devil:

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    4,723

    Default

    It appears to be operational now.
    The reason a diamond shines so brightly is because it has many facets which reflect light.

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •