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Thread: Handy Guide To Decipher Personals Ads




  1. #1
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    WOMEN'S ADS

    40-ish...................... 49
    Adventurer.................. Slept with all your friends
    Athletic.................... No ****
    Average looking............. Has a face like a basset hound
    Beautiful................... Pathological liar
    Contagious Smile............ Does a lot of Ecstasy
    Educated.................... Banged her Political Science professor
    Emotionally Secure.......... Medicated
    Feminist.................... Fat ballbuster
    Free spirit................. Junkie
    Friendship first............ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
    Fun......................... Annoying
    Gentle...................... Comatose
    Good Listener................Borderline Autistic
    New-Age..................... All body hair, all the time
    Old-fashioned............... Lights out, missionary position only
    Open-minded................. Desperate
    Outgoing.................... Loud and Embarrassing
    Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk
    Poet........................ Depressive Schizophrenic
    Professional................ Certified *****
    Redhead..................... Bad dye-job
    Reubenesque................. Grossly Fat
    Romantic.................... Looks better by candle light
    Social...................... Has been passed around like an hors-doeuvres tray
    Voluptuous.................. Very Fat
    Weight proportion w/ height. Hugely Fat
    Wants Soulmate.............. Stalker
    Widow....................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
    Young at heart.............. Old bat

    MEN'S ADS

    40-ish................ 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
    Athletic.............. Watches a lot of sport on TV
    Average looking....... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
    Educated.............. Will patronize the **** out of you
    Free Spirit........... Banging your sister
    Friendship first...... As long as friendship involves nookie
    Fun................... Good with a remote and a six pack
    Good looking.......... Arrogant
    Very good looking..... Dumb as a board
    Honest................ Pathological Liar
    Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
    Likes to cuddle....... Insecure mama's boy
    Mature................ Older than your father
    Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested
    Physically fit........ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
    Poet.................. Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall
    Sensitive............. Cries at chick flicks
    Very sensitive........ Gay
    Spiritual............. Got laid in a cemetery once
    Stable................ Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
    Thoughtful............ Says "Excuse me" when he farts
    <center>:cheers:</center>

  2. #2
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    lol....most of that sounds about right :D

  3. #3
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    lol.. how true! :D
    Asher Moses

  4. #4
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    hahahahahahaha
    that coulkd come in handy.
    PRINT!
    TT Original

  5. #5
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    Sounds like Olie checks quite a few of them out. :D
    <center>:cheers:</center>

  6. #6
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    I take offence at the "red head" meaning :(

  7. #7
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    I could see that one coming a mile away.....

  8. #8
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    nothing wrong with wanting to be the best colour :mad:

  9. #9
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    Nothing wrong with red Kay!!!

  10. #10
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    Better than blonde lol ;)

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