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Thread: Costello Calls To Buy A Computer From Abbott




  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Taipei, Taiwan
    Posts
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    Talking Costello Calls To Buy A Computer From Abbott

    Comedians of the 1930's-1950's Bud Abbott and Lou Costello did a comedy
    sketch about baseball, now infamous, titled "Who's on First?" It might
    have turned out something like this in our day of mobile phones and
    computers:

    COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT . . .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~
    ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. May I help you?
    COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking
    about buying a computer.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: Your computer?
    COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
    ABBOTT: Mac?
    COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.
    ABBOTT: What about Windows?
    COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
    ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?
    COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look in the windows?
    ABBOTT: A desktop and wallpaper.
    COSTELLO: I already have a desk with a large top, so never mind the
    windows with the computer. I just need a computer and software.
    ABBOTT: Software for Windows?
    COSTELLO: No. For the computer! I need something I can use to write
    proposals, track expenses and run my business. What have you got?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
    ABBOTT: I just did.
    COSTELLO: You just did what?
    ABBOTT: Recommend something.
    COSTELLO: You recommended something?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: For my office?
    ABBOTT: Yes.
    COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?
    ABBOTT: Office.
    COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!
    ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Windows.
    COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm
    sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
    ABBOTT: Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office.
    COSTELLO: The only word in office is "office".
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows? I told you I don't want
    windows installed in my computer.
    ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
    COSTELLO: I'm going to click your "blue 'W'" if you don't start with
    some straight answers! OK, forget that. Can I watch movies on the
    internet on this computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes, you'll want Real One.
    COSTELLO: Maybe a real one, maybe a cartoon. What I watch is none of
    your business. Just tell me what I need!
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: If it's a long movie I also want to see reel 2, 3 & 4. Can I
    watch them?
    ABBOTT: Of course.
    COSTELLO: Great! With what?
    ABBOTT: Real One.
    COSTELLO: OK, I'm at my computer and I want to watch a movie. What do I
    do?
    ABBOTT: You click the blue "1".
    COSTELLO: I click the blue one what?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1".
    COSTELLO: Is that different from the blue "W"?
    ABBOTT: The blue "1" is Real One and the blue "W" is Word.
    COSTELLO: What word?
    ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.
    COSTELLO: But there are three words in "office for windows"!
    ABBOTT: No, just one. But it's the most popular Word in the world.
    COSTELLO: It is?
    ABBOTT: Yes, but to be fair, there aren't many other Words left. It
    pretty much wiped out all the other Words out there.
    COSTELLO: And that word is "real one"?
    ABBOTT: Real One has nothing to do with Word. Real One isn't even part
    of Office.
    COSTELLO: STOP! Don't start that again. What about financial
    bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: That's right. What do you have?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?
    ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.
    COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Money.
    COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?
    ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.
    COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
    ABBOTT: One copy.
    COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
    COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?
    ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!

    A FEW DAYS LATER . .

    ABBOTT: Super Duper Computer Store. May I help you?
    COSTELLO: Your people set up this computer in my den and turned it on,
    but how do I turn it off?
    ABBOTT: Click on "START"..........

    Cameron "Mr.Tweak" Wilmot
    Managing Director
    Tweak Town Pty Ltd

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Fincastle, IN, USA
    Posts
    3,776

    Default Re: Costello Calls To Buy A Computer From Abbott

    The pathetic thing is some people in this world really are that stupid

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2004
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    13

    Default Re: Costello Calls To Buy A Computer From Abbott

    wow obviously that guy knows nothing
    AMD Athlon XP 2800+ OC'd To 3200+
    ABit NF7-S
    1GB Kingston HyperX Memory
    ATi Radeon 9800 Pro 256MB

  4. #4

    Default Re: Costello Calls To Buy A Computer From Abbott

    polarbear do you not know who abott and costello is?!??


    That was hilarious! Thanks mr. tweak!

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