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Thread: Aussie Sayings again




  1. #1
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    May your ears turn into arseholes and **** on your shoulders.
    insult

    Scarce as rocking horse ****.
    Very rare

    Dry as a dead dingo's donger.
    thirsty

    Not enough brains to give 'imself a headache!
    idiot

    Off like a bride's nightie.
    Very quickly.

    About as useful as **** on a bull.
    useless

    Happy as a ******* on Father's Day.
    unhappy

    Got you by the short and curlies.
    Got you on a short leash.... pubic hairs!

    You must be the world's only living brain donor.
    dumb or stupid to the extreme

    The most fun you can have with your pants on.
    self explainatory

    A few wanks short of an orgasm.
    not all there

    Busier than a one armed Sydney cab driver with the crabs.
    very busy

    Give birth to a politician.
    To have a ****.

    A good root and a fart would kill him.
    He's weak.

    I'm not pissing in your pocket mate!
    I'm giving to you straight.

    She had more pricks than a second hand dartboard.
    not discriminating about sexual partners

    Up at a sparrows fart.
    got up very early in the morning

    He had a head on him like a sucked mango.
    ugly

    He could talk under wet cement with a mouthful of marbles.
    talkative/salesman

    One foot in the grave and the other on a banana skin.
    very ill

    Gonna drain me dragon.
    urinate

    Flat out like a lizard drinking.
    hard work, busy. (But originally sarcastically)

    May your chooks turn into emus and kick your dunny down.
    insult

    Dig a hole and bury me, it just doesn't get better than this!
    self explainatory

    May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your armpits.
    You're basically scum

    He's got a few roos loose in the top paddock.
    Doesn't have it together

    So stupid that he wouldn't know a tram was up him 'til the bell rang!
    self explainatory

  2. #2
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    Couldn't organise a piss-up in a brewery.
    can't organise anything

    I'm going to give birth to your twin!
    Have a ****

    I hope the hairs up your arse turn into drumsticks and beat the **** out of you
    self explainatory insult

    If I wanted to talk to an ******* like you, I would 've farted!
    Go away and leave me alone

    Oh, pull your lip over your head and swallow!
    Go away or shut up.

    As ugly as a hatful/bucket of arseholes.
    self explainatory

    If I had a dog that looked like him, I'd shave it's arse and make it walk backwards.
    ugly

    Ya bloody wombat.
    Insult

    Bangs like a dunny door in a storm.
    Has sex a lot.

    Sticks like **** to a blanket.
    self explainatory

    He couldn't find his arse with both hands, even if his fingers were flashlights!
    Real busy, or real stupid

    He must have 2 *****es...he couldn't be that stupid from pulling one.
    Stupid

    A little more choke and he would have started!
    Said of someone who farts loudly in a crowded room.

    More arse than class.
    self explainatory

    Got a face like a bashed in **** can.
    Insult

    Couldn't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.
    Stupid or confused

    You have an IQ of 2 , and it takes 3 to grunt!
    insult

    May the all pores of your skin turn into little *******s and cover you in ****!
    Insult

    Couldn't drive a greasy stick up a dog's arse
    Is a lousy driver

    I'll go and have a Captain Cook.
    go for a look

    As welcome as a fart in a phone box.
    Get out of here

    Stroll to the gravy bowl.
    Go to the toilet.

    Wouldn't say **** if he had a mouthful.
    The quiet type

  3. #3
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    Couldn't organise a f**k in a brothel with a fist full of fifties.
    unlucky,stupid, ignorant just plain dumb usually refers to bad management

    Don't piss on my back and tell me it's rainin'!
    Don't try and con me.

    Pass the dead horse.
    Tomato Sauce

    F**k me drunk!
    I can't believe it.

    Pissed as a fart.
    had a little too much to drink.

    He couldn't fight his way out of a wet paper bag.
    weak

    Don't get your knickers in a knot.
    Don't get agitated.

    Seen better legs on a table.
    Cellulite city. Fat legs.

    He wouldn't work in an iron lung
    Lazy.

    Better than a poke in the eye with a burnt stick.
    Be thankful for what you've got.

    Seven sandwiches short of a picnic.
    dumb

    About as useful as a one-legged man in an arse-kicking competition.
    Of absolutely no use...

    Couldn't fix a root in a brothel!
    Can't organise anything.

    I'm so thirsty I could drink the sweat from a Japanese Sumo wrestler's jockstrap.
    thirsty

    If it was raining palaces, I'd get hit by a dunny door.
    unlucky

    I'll kick your bum till your nose bleeds!
    insult

    I'm so hungry, I could eat the crotch out of a dead leper's undies.
    hungry

    Sticks out like dog's balls.
    Doesn't fit in, out of place.

    May your arse cheeks turn into bicycle wheels and backpedal up your arse!
    self explainatory

    A stubbie/can short of a six pack.
    Missing some sense

  4. #4
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    clear as mud
    unclear

    Fair crack of the whip!
    I appeal for ethical behaviour

    Seen better heads in a piss trough.
    Ugly.

    A few crumbs short of a biscuit.
    neuron impaired

    Her! She's got a face like a smacked arse.
    Boy! You are ugly

    I'll have your guts for garters mate!
    I'm going to get you for that.

    He spat the dummy.
    mega pissed off

    What do you think it is, Bushweek?
    I'm not a dumb ****y from the bush you can't put it over me

    Lower than a snake's armpit\arsehole.
    Pretty underhanded

    Another beer? Na, better hit the frog 'n toad.
    Road.

    No more sense than a native bear, an' not half as good-lookin'.
    Dumb

    You're as handy as **** on a stick.
    your not much help

    Where the crows fly backwards.
    remote outback, strange place

    Tighter than a fish's arse.
    that's watertight

    Ya bloody galah!
    You slow witted one.

    As useful as an ashtray on a motorbike/water-ski/surf-board.
    useless

    Stick THAT up ya jumper (or up yer woolly) and smoke it.
    so there

    As useful as lips on a chicken.
    not worth a damned

    He's off like a bucket of prawns in the hot sun.
    I am out of here!

    He's on the dog and bone.
    telephone

    Couldn't organise a fart in a chillie eating contest.
    not good at organisation

    Crack a Fat
    what the Americans so blandly call a "hard-on".

    As funny as a fart in an elevator/space suit/sleeping bag.
    not

    Dry as a f**k with no foreplay.
    Very thirsty

    You've got some face fungus.
    needs a shave

    What a load of codswollip.
    lies

    So unlucky that if it were raining virgins he would be struck in the head by a poof.
    Really unlucky.

    I feel like a dog's breakfast.
    Feel pretty awful.

  5. #5
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    Stone the flaming crows!
    curse

    Fair suck of the sav!
    sav=saveloy=Frankerfurt. Fair go! Give me a break!

    **** stinks, eggs don't bounce and you can't buy generals in a general store.
    Answer to the question "Whaddya know?"

    You're as good as two blondes put together.
    Not very smart

    My back teeth are floating.
    I'm in real need of a piss

    Sure as there's cold **** in a dead cat.
    the certainty of the situation

    I could eat the horse and chase the rider/jockey.
    yer bloody hungry!

    Mad/Silly as a cut snake.
    cranky

    Head was so far up his arse if he farted he would whistle.
    full of himself

    You've got two chances: Buckley's and none
    you've got slim or no chance, faint hope.

    Yer so thin you'd have to run around in a the shower to get wet.
    self explainatory

    Fits like a bum in a bucket.
    snug fit

    Tighter than a bull's arse at fly time.
    very tight/miserly

    You usless kiwi import.
    self explainatory.......j/k

    I couldn't give a rats arse.
    don't care

    Dumber than a box / wagon load of rocks.
    Not troubled by intelligence

    That's about as funny as a kick in the head.
    not funny

    Drinking with Pat Malone
    drinking alone

    Well that's down the gurgler.
    gone down the drain

    I need that like a submarine needs a screen door.
    self explainatory

    A few sausages short of a BBQ.
    stupid/crazy

    He's having a Barry Crocker. (or Joe Crocker)
    a Shocker. A bad time.

    Go and stick your head up a dead bear's bum.
    Koala bear that is!

    Know yer! I'd know your skin if I saw it hanging on a bush.
    self explainatory

    He couldn't drive a nail into a bucket of water.
    to a hopeless driver

    Trouble and strife and billy lids.
    wife and kids

    Well, bugger me dead! / bugger me blind!
    Exclamination

    He's got tickets on himself
    vain

    So tight that he wouldn't shout if a shark bit him.
    Stingy person - will not buy a round of beers.

    As cunning/crazy/sly as a ****house rat.
    self explainatory

    If your I. Q. were 2 points higher it would be the same as a bloody stone.
    Pretty dumb.

    Awning over the toy shop.
    awning equals beer gut and so toyshop is...

    Love to stay and count our brain cells one by one, but we can't.
    No time.

    A shingle short on the roof of life.
    a bit slow

    Hornier than a three balled tomcat.
    Watch out pussies!

    It was like giving birth to Kim Beasly.
    The turd I excreted this morning was bloody huge!!!

    Face like a smashed crab.
    ugly

  6. #6
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    e's a bit whiffy under the Warwick's
    Warwick short for Warwick Farm (Arm), meaning underarm odour

    So hungry I'd eat a **** sandwich, only I don't like bread.
    self explainatory

    Put the hard word on.
    Ask for sex bluntly

    Shes been entered more times than Tattslotto.
    She's had plenty of sexual partners

    I'll fix your Jack and Jill.
    Pay for the bill

    Off to the bog to leave an offering.
    A sewer deposit.

    Got a face like a mile of unpaved road.
    Pretty ugly

    Wouldn't know if his arse was on fire.
    Stupid Person

    You little bugger.
    Brat, pain in the arse.

    In more **** than a faggot's finger.
    In big trouble

    I'm 'aving a dogs eye and dead 'orse.
    Meat pie and sauce

    It's not worth a brass razoo.
    Not even worth a penny.

    As rare/scarce as hen's teeth.
    Rare

    Syphon the python
    Urinate

    Couldn't lie straight in bed.
    people know your lying

    Doing the Chocolate Cha Cha.
    Anal Intercourse

    I'm as dry as a pommie's bath mat.
    I need a drink

  7. #7
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    He wouldn't know if a brass band was up him unless he got the drum!
    self explainatory

    Dry as a witch's tit (in the desert).
    Very Thirsty

    He has F.I.T.H. Syndrome.
    He's f**ked in the head (stupid)

    He's a horses hoof.
    poof (homosexual) Rhyming slang

    Happy as a dog in a hub cap factory.
    happy

    Lower than a snake's belly.
    cowardly

    I wouldn't touch it with a forty foot pole.
    self explainatory

    He did like a horses dick, and hit the road.
    He left!

    About as useful/handy as pockets on a singlet.
    effing useless

    I wore my bag of fruit yesterday.
    I wore a suit.

    Welcome as a pork chop in Jerusalem or a synagogue.
    Not popular.

    He couldn't pull the skin off a custard.
    weak

    As ugly as a bulldog chewing a wasp.
    Ugly

    Face like a mallee root.
    ugly

    Does a fat dog fart?
    yes

    A few tinnies short of a slab.
    slow in thinking

    Ya bloods worth bottling!
    your great!

    Three bangers short of a barbie.
    dull-witted, slow.

    Between you me and the gatepost...
    in confidence.

    We're in the middle of bloody woop-woop.
    To be lost, to be in the middle of nowhere.

    Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish.
    self explainatory

    As slow as a wet week.
    That's slow.

    ****-and-bull stories.
    absurd, unlikely story, claiming to be true.


    He could talk a dog off a meatwagon.
    persuasive

    He's a lousy *******.
    A mean miserable man.

    What's your crust, mate?
    What do you do for a living?

    Snap off / punch a grogan.
    Have a ****.

    Get off yer high horse.
    Your arrogance is unacceptable

    Dry as a bulls bum going up a hill backwards.
    Extremely dry in the mouth

    He's as full as a goog.
    full, so drunk he can't stand up

    Were you on the porcelain telephone?
    vomiting into the loo!

    You look like a stunned mullet
    You look like a senseless fish!

    Hang a brown bear in the porcelain cave.
    A number two.

    Arh, stick your head up your Kyber Pass.
    Arse

    Go home to the ball and chain.
    wife

    Full as a fat lady's knickers/socks.
    Couldn't have any more food/drink

  8. #8
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    You can't have one foot either side of the fence if its made from barbed wire.
    Sir Joe quote

    At the drop of a hat.
    At any excuse.


    Shut your cake hole.
    shut your mouth

    Bonzer mate!
    Great!

    Be buggered if I know.
    I don't have a clue

    F**ked in the head.
    No brains, not quite all there

    He shoots blanks.
    Sterile

    Thick as a lump of 4 X 2. (four by two)
    not well endowed with grey matter

    Hold on to yer horses!
    Just wait for a second.

    I'll give it a butchers.
    Butchers Hook=Look into something

    Mad! He's as mad as a gum-tree full of galahs!
    angry

    He's got a raging hard on.
    self explainatory

    He wouldn't go two rounds with a revolving door.
    weak or incompetent

    It's a Rip Snorter.
    It's great.

    On your bike!
    Get out of here

    Takin' the kids to the pool.
    Going to the loo.

    She goes like the clappers.
    Move fast

    I'm buggered, broke and bewildered.
    stuffed - underpaid & overworked

    How are ya, me ol' china?
    How are you, friend\mate?

    I got to take a snakes hiss.
    piss (urinate)

    Don't come the raw prawn with me mate!
    don't delude, trick.

    Froth and Bubble
    means trouble

    That's piss weak beer!
    Not worth anything. Weak.

    I'm gonna strangle a brownie.
    Nothing to do with girl scouts!

    Go to buggery!
    Get lost, go away.

    He's about to do his block.
    Lose control of his temper.

    Tis a pity thy mouth be ringed with teeth, 'cos doth spoil a perfect arsehole.
    Ugly as all S...

    Couldn't run a bath!
    hopeless at organizing, running a business

  9. #9
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    GO Kay!

    I gonna have a nice read sometime this week.

  10. #10
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    You're as ugly as a box of blowflies.
    Insult

    Left like a shag on a rock.
    result of unpopularity

    Gotta go have a slash.
    Gotta urinate.

    The lights are on, but no-one's home.
    A slow person, not all up there.

    Reg Grundys
    = undies

    Pig's arse!!
    Absolutely, undeniably, inarguably NO WAY!!!!

    You could hang your wet duffel coat on those.
    She's got prominent nipples

    Like two bulldogs fighting under a saddle blanket.
    what a fat woman's arse looks like when she walks in pants

    There's a brown dog barking at the back door.
    I need to have a ****

    If I fell in a barrel of bosoms, I'd come out sucking my thumb.
    Unlucky

    Like a rat up a rope/drainpipe.
    very quickly

    Mean! He was so mean he wouldn't even let his dog drink from a mirage.

    Stop pissing in his pocket.
    Stop trying to ingratiate yourself with him

    yer draggin the chain.
    You are somewhat tardy.

    Did you see her Tasmania?
    female pubic area. (Tassie Map)

    Couldn't drive ducks to water.
    A hopeless car driver

    Crissed as a picket.
    pissed as a cricket (it is spelt right)

    Hey mate! Wanna root?
    wanna have sex?
    I don't know who's f**king skinning this cat, but I'm getting scratched.
    why don't you keep your mind on the bloody job !!

    You're a Wally.
    You are not clever

    Well FMD!
    F**k Me Dead! (expression of surprise)

    As handy as mudflaps on a speedboat.
    Not handy at all

    To get off at Redfern.
    coitus interrupts

    Him! He couldn't catch a cold!
    in poor form, not quick (Sport)


    To do your lolly.
    lose your temper

    He's an odd bod.
    eccentric person, esp with a fixation.

    It's Liquid Sunshine.
    Rain

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