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Thread: The how to's:




  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
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    How to enjoy yourself in a Computer lab

    Introduction:
    Whether in college of high school, computer labs are becoming an integral part of the learning experience. At the same time, it has become easier to pull pranks on other students because of this. If you want to really get someone confused or freaked out try some of our tips.

    Instructions:


    1. If the student at the neighboring computer is using a word processor program open the same on up on your computer. If you can, try to switch the keyboard inputs on both computers (this is easier if you do it before hand). Then when they type something in it will show up on your computer while nothing shows up on theirs. Then start typing things like, "Leave me alone!!!" or "You always hit my keys to hard, be more gentle." This will not only confuse them but they may begin to think the computer has a mind of its own.

    2. Try to put a Nintendo cartridge into the 3.5-inch floppy drive. When it does not fit go to the lab supervisor and ask for assistance.
    3. Bring several large magnets and make sure the lab supervisor sees you with them.
    4. Bring a cordless power saw to the lab. When someone asks what that is for say, "Just in case the compute acts up again."
    5. Attempt to reformat as many of the computers as possible.
    6. Find an online version of the bible. Print out the entire thing and leave the lab (since it will not be done for a few days anyway).

  2. #2
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    Jul 2002
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    How to Annoy People on a Road Trip

    Introduction:
    If you have ever taken a road trip you will know how boring it can get. To combat that boredom we have listed a few tips below for you to try. Not all of these tips will work all the time. However, you will have lots of fun trying. These can be applied to other drivers as well as your own passengers.

    Instructions:


    1. Every time you happen to see some road kill stop the car get your portable alter out and sacrifice it to the road gods. If anyone gives you trouble remind them about the freedom of religion.

    2. When stopped next to another car at a light, roll down your window and say in a proper English accent, “Would you have any Grey Poupon?”
    3. Pass as many cars as you can, then drive 15 mph below the speed limit.
    4. Throw Spam.
    5. Get in the fast lane and gradually...slow...down...to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at them
    6. Turn on a soft rock radio station, blast it as loud as you can stand and start head banging.
    7. Write the words "Help Me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood, the better.
    8. Complain about the music, turn the radio off and start singing various country hits without any music.
    9. Keep at least five cats in the car. Not having a litter box will increase the annoyance factor.
    10. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look and an obscene gesture.
    11. Restart your car at every stoplight.

    Finishing Touches: With just a little practice and patience you can learn to annoy practically anyone on a road trip.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul 2002
    Posts
    1,520

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    How to Build a Crappy Web Page

    Introduction:
    We have all been there, just minding our own business surfing the web and suddenly we are attacked. Not by a person or hacker, but a crappy web page. These pages defy all logic and taste. But still people make them. If you are interested in making your own crappy web page keep reading.

    Instructions:


    1. A sure shot way to create bad page is to use a black background with a blue font (a white background with a yellow font works even better). You will not only frustrate the visitor but will probably give them a headache as well.
    2. Three words…frames, frames, and frames
    3. Instead of creating a site with a number of different pages, try putting the entire site on one very, very long page.
    4. Use the most annoying background you can find (The smaller the better since you can tile it over the entire page).
    5. Another good tip is to cram your page with as many banner ads as possible. Using animated banner ads will add to the effect.
    6. Use small, animated gifs throughout your page. Make them cute and cuddly. People hate cute and cuddly animations. Using a line of very small identical animated gifs as a horizontal rule will also get under a persons skin pretty quick.
    7. Background sound. This is probably one of the worst things a page can have. Try using a short version of a popular song and put it on a loop. This will drive people crazy.
    8. Use only text. A white background with Time New Roman font at 10 points. This doesn’t piss everyone off, but it sure gets to me.
    9. Use a splash screen
    10. Leave the opening or closing brackets for your html tags off. This will cause some of the html code to be visible on the page (Nobody likes that!!!)

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