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Thread: Intercepted email




  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Taipei, Taiwan
    Posts
    4,308

    Default

    The following message was intercepted by the CIA last week and has
    mysteriously found its way on to the Internet...

    Subject: Memorandum
    From: Bin Laden, Osama
    To: All Al Queda Fighters
    Subject: The Cave


    Hi guys. We've all been putting in long hours recently but we've really
    come together as a group and I love that! However, while we are fighting a
    jihad, we can't forget to take care of the cave, and frankly I have a few
    concerns:
    First of all, while it's good to be concerned about cruise missiles, we
    should be even more concerned about the dust in our cave. We want to avoid

    excessive dust inhalation, (a health and safety issue) - so we need to
    sweep the cave daily. I've done my bit on the cleaning rota have you?
    I've posted a sign-up sheet near the cave reception area (next to the
    halal toaster).
    Second, it's not often I make a video address but when I do, I'm trying to
    scare the **** out of most of the world's population, okay? That means that

    while we're taping, please do not ride your scooter in the background or
    keep doing the 'Wassup' thing. Thanks.
    Third: Food. I bought a box of Dairylea recently, clearly wrote "Ossy" on
    the front, and put it on the top shelf. Today, two of my Dairylea slices
    were gone. Consideration. That's all I'm saying.
    Fourth: I'm not against team spirit and all that, but we must distance
    ourselves from the Infidel's bat and ball games. Please do not chant "Ossy
    Ossy Ossy, Oy Oy Oy" when I ride past on the donkey. Thanks.
    Five: Graffiti. Whoever wrote "OSAMA ****S DONKEYS" on the group toilet
    wall It's a lie, the donkey backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself
    at the edge of the mountain.
    Six: The use of chickens is strictly for food. Assam, the old excuse that
    the 'chicken backed into me, whilst I was relieving myself at the edge of
    the mountain' will not be accepted in future. (With donkeys, there is a
    grey area.)
    Finally, we've heard that there may be Western soldiers in disguise trying
    to infiltrate our ranks. I want to set up patrols to look for them. First
    patrol will be Omar, Muhammad, Abdul, Akbar and Dave.
    Love you lots, Group Hug. Os.
    PS - I'm sick of having "Osama's Bed Linen" scribbled on my laundry bag.
    Cut it out, it's not funny anymore.
    Cameron "Mr.Tweak" Wilmot
    Managing Director
    Tweak Town Pty Ltd

  2. #2
    Beefy Guest

    Default

    Shouldn't that be in the jokes thread? :D very nice Mr T.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2001
    Posts
    1,297

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    New England Highlands, Australia
    Posts
    21,907

    Default

    <center>

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
    :cheers:</center>

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Posts
    1,599

    Default

    That would make a good mp3 with the right voice actor. He'd definatly need a lisp.
    "In their capacity as a tool, computers will be but a ripple on the surface of our culture. In their capacity as intellectual challenge, they are without precedent in the cultural history of mankind." - Edsger Dijkstra

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov 2001
    Location
    Bendigo Australia
    Posts
    1,788

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