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Thread: Unbelievable *Stella Awards*




  1. #1
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    It's time once again to consider the candidates for the 2003
    Stella Awards. The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella
    Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued
    McDonalds.

    That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most uniquely
    successful lawsuits in the United States for last year. Actually,
    joint awards should be given to the plaintiff attorneys and the
    flaming idiots on the juries who awarded anything at all to these
    morons--who deserved NOTHING!!!!

    The following are this year's candidates:

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000 by a
    jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler
    who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store
    were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering th! e
    misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical
    expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord.
    Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel
    of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he
    had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to
    get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
    malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door
    connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The
    family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in
    the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he
    found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's
    insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish.
    The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
    medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next
    door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's
    fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt
    the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr.
    Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
    Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft
    drink and broke her coccyx! (tailbone). The beverage was on the
    floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds
    earlier during an argument.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of
    a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom
    window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This
    occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window
    in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was
    awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

    /////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

    This year's favorite could easily be Mr. Merv Grazinski of
    Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-
    foot Winnebago motor home. On his first trip home, having driven
    onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly
    left the drivers seat to go into the back and make himself a cup
    of coffee. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and
    overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in
    the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this. The jury
    awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually
    changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case
    there were any other complete morons buying their recreation
    vehicles.
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  2. #2
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    Bringin' back the oldies sis? :?:


  3. #3
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    So which pays better, stupidity or crime?
    The reason a diamond shines so brightly is because it has many facets which reflect light.

  4. #4
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    The first as Mr. Merv Grazinski won the award, $1.75million US plus a brand new 32' Winnebago motor home. ;)
    <center>:cheers:</center>

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wiggo
    Bringin' back the oldies sis? :?:

    I just had it emailed to me this morning, first time I'd ever seen it so I thought I'd share it.

    *some of us haven't been around as long as others*:p
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  6. #6
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    Isn't it amazin' at how many times these things go around though. But I think that those nominations went up around June last year (I posted it here somewhere then) but the actual award was presented not long ago (the local radio station here must of got the same one as well). ;)
    <center>:cheers:</center>

  7. #7
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    Shall I bother posting this years darwin awards then ?
    • Q: What is the difference between erotic sex and kinky sex?
    A: During erotic sex you use a feather, during kinky sex you use the whole chicken.

  8. #8
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    Anyone we know on that list? :?:


  9. #9
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    These awards makes those fat kids suing McDonalds seem reasonable! :hammer:
    A man with a watch will always know the time, a man with two watches is never sure.

  10. #10
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    Some ppl are just totally insane with what they do.
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